Many women in power are seen as hard asses or tough, whereas their male counterparts are viewed as good at their jobs. Cuidados niños, that’s the patriarchy talking. Power has been monopolized by patriarchy and both men and women suffer at its hands. It is dehumanizing because in this sense of power, there is no room for weakness or any kind of multi-dimensionality; that weakness has been appointed for the fragile, the women. Multi-dimensionality is confusing, and therefore crazy, and by extension, a female trait.
As a Black woman, media has done a good job of painting and forcing me to internalize the “strong black woman” façade. As either an object of repulsion or one of fascination, Black women in the media are never human, the range of emotion held by human beings is not afforded to powerful female characters on Tv.
I watched an episode of Scandal— the show’s relevance and portrayal of Black women and women in general is deserving of its own thetical dissertation— and the main character, Olivia, did not cry though came close to it when speaking about a young, unarmed black man that was shot in the street, I felt cheated.
As a Black woman, media has done a good job of painting and forcing me to internalize the “strong black woman” façade. As either an object of repulsion or one of fascination, Black women in the media are never human, the range of emotion held by human beings is not afforded to powerful female characters on Tv.
I watched an episode of Scandal— the show’s relevance and portrayal of Black women and women in general is deserving of its own thetical dissertation— and the main character, Olivia, did not cry though came close to it when speaking about a young, unarmed black man that was shot in the street, I felt cheated.
She had PTSD, having just been kidnapped and held hostage for weeks, yet she did not break, she would not cry. Then I was wracking my brain to find an instance in which I’d seen Ms. Pope cry. Women, and men in power, especially Blacks are not allowed to seen as human anymore. Perhaps it is the great perceived rarity that gives these people an alien/god-like status that leaves no room for emotion in the midst of their power and rank. However, a lesson myself as well as the Social justice workers I have watched have learned, is how to care for themselves.
I have wanted to write this piece for 2 months now. So what was it about the night of a politically charged Scandal episode, with plenty of facets to explore, that pushed me to write it?
It is because I stayed up all night of the grand jury’s failure to indict Darren Wilson and cried. And I cried in school and I cried during the marching I did that day.
I am unsure that the marching or tears solved anything.
I have been telling myself since childhood,Tears don’t solve anything.
However crying is important. I think it is just as important as any kind cathartic art or social justice work.
The oppression the world places on you daily is too much sometimes. Crying is not a signal of resignation. Crying is allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Even the strongest of us cannot be at the frontline of battle at all times.
Realizing both our communal and individual identities and allowing them to intersect, mesh, as well as stand on their own, with equal energy is vital for all growth and learning.
But why cry? Isn’t joy most radical?
Allowing tears to flow and taking the time to expel them, as ugly as it gets, as much time as it takes, is necessary. Tears lower manganese levels, which lead to a better mood. Affording yourself momentary vulnerability does wonders. Holding things in until you explode will not help with anything. There is power in knowing yourself and allowing yourself to bend before you break.
This is not a call to cut onions and open the floodgates; maybe tears are a trigger in themselves for you. However, despite what media tells you, it is okay to cry. You are still a powerful human being, even when tears fall down your face. So have a good cry every once in a while if you need to.
I have wanted to write this piece for 2 months now. So what was it about the night of a politically charged Scandal episode, with plenty of facets to explore, that pushed me to write it?
It is because I stayed up all night of the grand jury’s failure to indict Darren Wilson and cried. And I cried in school and I cried during the marching I did that day.
I am unsure that the marching or tears solved anything.
I have been telling myself since childhood,Tears don’t solve anything.
However crying is important. I think it is just as important as any kind cathartic art or social justice work.
The oppression the world places on you daily is too much sometimes. Crying is not a signal of resignation. Crying is allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Even the strongest of us cannot be at the frontline of battle at all times.
Realizing both our communal and individual identities and allowing them to intersect, mesh, as well as stand on their own, with equal energy is vital for all growth and learning.
But why cry? Isn’t joy most radical?
Allowing tears to flow and taking the time to expel them, as ugly as it gets, as much time as it takes, is necessary. Tears lower manganese levels, which lead to a better mood. Affording yourself momentary vulnerability does wonders. Holding things in until you explode will not help with anything. There is power in knowing yourself and allowing yourself to bend before you break.
This is not a call to cut onions and open the floodgates; maybe tears are a trigger in themselves for you. However, despite what media tells you, it is okay to cry. You are still a powerful human being, even when tears fall down your face. So have a good cry every once in a while if you need to.